Last week, Park University held a Kenya Cultural Sharing event on campus. This was an event that was organized under the auspices of the International Student Admission Services (ISAS). ISAS organizes these events routinely and it is one of the reasons I love attending Park.

The cultural enrichment you get from attending these events is kind of priceless. It emerged that a lot of people don’t really know that much about the land of my birth – Kenya.

So today, I will clear up several misconceptions about Kenya.

Kenya is a country located in Africa. That’s right. Africa is a continent – not a country. In fact, there are 56 countries in that continent called Africa. And they all have different cultures, religions and languages. Actually, it is also true that in these same countries, they also have different cultures, religions and languages.

It is true, we can run fast. But when you think Kenya, think Jeep not Ferrari. We are not as fast as the cheetahs you might find wandering our savannahs. Actually, if you are thinking of Ferrari you might be confusing us with the Jamaicans who have dominated sprint for quite a while. I am thinking Usain Bolt here. You should think Jeep because Kenyan athletes are all about endurance.

We are the kings and queens of middle and long distance running. That starts from 800 meters all the way to the marathon. That’s why I enjoy watching the Olympics. We are always winning something.

No, I did not ride an elephant to school. Again you must be confusing us with not only another country but also another continent – Asia. Even in Asia, I don’t think they ride jumbos to school despite having domesticated them. African elephants are not easy to tame. They are larger and more aggressive. When they trumpet you can tell they want no one on their backs.

And, no, I did not keep a pet lion – but not because I didn’t want to have one. I think the fact that I didn’t have a pet lion stems from the fact that both the lion and my parents would have strong views about that.

It is true that Kenyans are multilingual. I am fluent in three languages. I speak English, Luo and Swahili. Luo being my mother-tongue, you would guess there was no escaping knowing it but you would be wrong. Since I was born in the biggest city, Nairobi, for many years my Luo fluency was suspect. That is until I went to school in the countryside and I got to interact with more people from tribal homeland.

Swahili is the national language, so most Kenyans find it useful to learn. Without Swahili, I might find myself asking for a spoon from a member of the Kamba tribe and end up getting a bowl.

The Queen’s English is spoken in the classrooms, though how much of it belongs to the Queen, is also suspect especially when you find yourself in the streets of Nairobi.

It is the moment you realize that English itself is not native to Kenya and it actually came over on a ship. No, it is not true that we are lazy. What is true is that we are very liberal in our interpretation of time. Albert Einstein himself realized that time is not absolute. Time is relative. We have known this for quite a long time. That is why meetings in Kenya that are supposed to start at 9 a.m. might start at 10 a.m. or 10.30 a.m. There is no hurry in Africa.

It is true that Kenyans know how to shake what their mamas gave them. First of all because their mamas gave them plenty to shake and most Kenyans are not ashamed of this. As far as I can tell, this has been going on since the first drum beat. We love our drums. We love to dance. Some of us live only to dance when night comes to the African wilderness.

It has been a long time since I have been home and even though like every Kenyan I like to shake what my mama gave me, I will be the first to confess that my Mama didn’t give me much and that I am considered a slightly below average dancer. I believe last time I was in Kenya, the contemporary dance styles were kuku, helicopter and ndombolo.

And finally, even though Barack Obama has a fanatical following in Kenya, it is not true that he was born in Kenya. He does not have Kenyan citizenship though I think he is the only non-Kenyan who has had a public holiday in their honor. I believe even the great Madiba, Nelson Mandela himself, has not been accorded such an honor.