Recently, many of my Facebook friends have been posting and re-posting a link to a blog entitled, “Marriage Isn’t For Me.” Out of sheer curiosity as to why everyone thought this was interesting enough to share, I read it.
The blog entry, written by Seth Adam Smith, is a piece of advice written for those married or unmarried. A much shortened summary of his opinion about marriage is that it is an opportunity to be completely selfless in order to fully love your other half.
When I first read the title “Marriage Isn’t For Me,” I assumed it was about a self-proclaimed bachelor who vowed to never tie the knot. However, very soon in the article it is revealed that Smith is indeed married and the title is somewhat misleading.
What he means is that marriage isn’t for any one person. Smith was having marital problems when he went to his father, who gave him the advice, “You don’t marry to make yourself happy, you marry to make someone else happy. More than that, your marriage isn’t for yourself, you’re marrying for a family. Not just for the in-laws and all of that nonsense but for your future children. Who do you want to help you raise them? Who do you want to influence them? Marriage isn’t for you. It’s not about you. Marriage is about the person you married.”
I can’t say I fully agree with this. I do believe you should marry to make yourself happy along with making your partner happy. If you have a happy spouse, but you are not happy, does that still equal a happy marriage? I don’t think so.
So, although I do agree that in a relationship one should be more selfless than when they were single and they should always try to make their partner happy, I still think one’s own happiness is a priority.
